InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Ninjas always beat pirates."

Jubilee (laminar) wrote,
@ 2008-03-19 19:05:00

Porn could be a surefire way to go
www.giftsyoucangive.com is a completely useless website if you're looking for gift ideas for people under oh, 65. Somehow I rather doubt that my cousin Harold - who turns 30 in a week - would appreciate things like life insurance or a gift voucher for dentures.

Though of course if he had denture fetishism it would be a breeze.

I guess the theory that the better you know someone, the harder they are to buy for isn't entirely baseless.

(Post a new comment)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 05:27 am UTC (link)
	I'm sure he'd appreciate an entirely new Rolex. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 05:48 am UTC (link)
	Oh, he doesn't need to be spoilt more than he is. I'm sure you would appreciate an entirely new Rolex. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 05:52 am UTC (link)
	Do I sense a budget here? My Rolex is only four months old, I think I'm still happy with it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 05:56 am UTC (link)
	His girlfriend bought him a nice shiny watch last year. He might come to expect things like that every time if this is encouraged. And I thought you were operating on a budget, though I see there is splurging here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 06:12 am UTC (link)
	Give him a pen with his name on it, then. It always works. I am operating on a budget. My Uncle Tomo gave it to me during Christmas, I didn't buy it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 06:19 am UTC (link)
	That's so incredibly corny. I was hoping you had some better suggestions in you. Ha. Apparently you're spoilt too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 06:34 am UTC (link)
	Gift cheque to a dinner, then? Or a brand new coat or some champagne. If you tell me what kind of person this Harold is, I'm sure I'll be able to help you better. Very spoilt, actually. My uncle does a good job keeping me materialistically happy whenever we meet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 07:13 am UTC (link)
	Now that I think about it, Harold is kind of like you. But he's taller. And doesn't complain about his job half as much. That makes me wish I had a rich uncle, so he could give me things I don't really need. It'll be great. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 07:15 am UTC (link)
	Is that so? Well, when I turned thirty, all I wanted was a new pair of Cavallis. And then you can throw them off your balcony? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 07:23 am UTC (link)
	That would've been a simple enough request to fill. Anything else other than clothing? Not everyone can be as fashion-conscious as you. That would be a waster of perfectly good things I don't need now, wouldn't it? I could always keep them in my room just for the sake of having them, or recycle them as gifts so more people can have things they don't really need. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 07:33 am UTC (link)
	PDAs. You make me feel like most of the things I get from him are useless. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

laminar
2008-03-24 07:39 am UTC (link)

What self-respecting business person doesn't already have a state-of-the-art one? Unless by PDA you are referring to - and I consulted wiki for this - a Phase-Doppler analyzer, or Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, or Polydiacetylenes. I have no idea what that is, and am not sure it's tangible enough to be given as a gift.

I'm sure they're not useless. I mean, your Rolex would definitely help you in attracting a lovely woman, as well as telling you the time. There is no downside here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 07:58 am UTC (link)
	I'm surprised it didn't give you Public Display of Affection. No, seriously, how was I supposed to know he was a businessman? For all I know, he could have been a surfer or a chef. Why don't you give him a widescreen TV, then? I'm sure he has enough space in his upscale apartment for another one. Well, thank you. I do hope that happens. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

laminar
2008-03-24 08:15 am UTC (link)

It did, but I thought that kind of PDA was a little wrong and so wasn't what I was going for, so I picked and chose.

My entire family is full of intellectuals and businesspeople, I thought you knew that. A TV? That's so... cold.

How about this. Envision that... your sister was a man. What would you get him for his thirtieth? Assuming that he could have pretty much anything he wanted anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

timetogo
2008-03-24 08:43 am UTC (link)

Oh, well now I do. I'll keep that in mind. A TV isn't cold, it could make his apartment look really neat. Anyway, you could also give him one of those juicers or steamers in the Home Shopping Network or maybe a new set of steak knives.

...if my sister were a man, I'd still give her/him a ticket to Hawaii. She actually turns thirty this year and no, I'm not so sure about the Hawaiian trip.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

laminar
2008-03-24 09:32 am UTC (link)

... that's so lame. You really need to stop watching that channel. There are plenty of other quality programs to choose from. I will seriously drag you away from the TV if I catch you watching the Home Shopping Network again.

Who needs a ticket to Hawaii when I could take anyone on a trip personally? Actually, that's not a bad idea. That idea is worth thinking on.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 10:57 am UTC (link)
	Ha, ha, ha! Well, forgive me if I have a strange form of entertainment. Oh, Harold knows you're a mutant? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 11:56 am UTC (link)
	It is downright weird. You have the same sort of taste as a bored stay-at-home mum. Yeah, my secret identity isn't really secret. I'd suck at being Superman. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 12:13 pm UTC (link)
	I know, but what can I do? It does a good job relaxing me. Until the products get boring, that is... That's okay, we still like you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	laminar 2008-03-24 12:24 pm UTC (link)
	The products are always boring. Unless, you know, you're in desperate need of something that can cut your vegetables in 34,298 different ways. And really want a free set of steak knives. Well. If you guys still like me then I guess I'm okay with being a crappy Superman. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	timetogo 2008-03-24 12:36 pm UTC (link)
	I know, it's the ridiculousness of it all that makes it entertaining! Somewhere in the slew of products, though, you do find one that seems relatively useful although still illogically expensive. (Reply to this) (Parent)